Fear Issues

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. -Marianne Williamson

The first time I heard these words I was moved to tears. This is not a feat easily accomplished, but the magnitude of the words was like receiving long awaited test results from a sullen-faced doctor. The answer my broken heart had been waiting to hear was right there, and I felt as if my heart would burst wide open from the impact of them.
The diagnosis was hurtful, because the answer to my problems had been inside me all along. It was as if I’d suffered a mild heart attack that could have been prevented with a controlled diet and exercise. I just wanted to kick myself.
I realized that I was focusing on the minute things I couldn’t do as opposed to the innumerable things that I could. I was living in fear of losing a non-existent love and of never knowing true love and never being good enough to do anything that would make any significant difference in the world.
However, the prognosis was excellent, and with slight adjustments to my attitude and circle of friends, I had hope that everything would be okay. I just needed to change my focus and understand that whatever I was meant to do would come to me, that I was lovable to someone somewhere, and that as long as I was touching a life at a time I was indeed impacting some part of the world. Regardless of this new revelation, the fear remained.
Fears have the power to zap from us the achievement of our greatest potential. However, it also has the power to fuel us. Either we are running scared or we’re staring it in the face and gearing up for the fight of our lives. Those who are running can’t imagine having the power to throw fear to the ground and stomp the CRAP out of it, and as a result don’t enjoy the fulfillment of their dreams. Then, there are those who daily face fear head-on, beat it to a pulp, and say “What’s next? Bring it ON!”
I have had the opportunity to witness the beginning of my best friend’s journey in the music industry. It’s like watching a showdown where she and fear are the contenders, and believe me she is definitely “Winning!” (Couldn’t resist the Sheen reference) She is beating fear down on a daily basis, and it’s nothing short of inspiring. Now, she has said many things to encourage me as I move forward in my writing career, but the one thing that I remember most often is what she said to me when I was lamenting about being afraid to fully pursue it. The exact words escape me, but the gist of it is this:
If at some point during the day you are not absolutely terrified of something, then, you’re not really doing anything.
My soul-deep fear is that I am “powerful beyond measure.” Of course, Ms. Williamson was right on the money. It is daunting for me to even fathom that kind of competence. Yet, every single day I wake up, look my fear in the face, and trudge forward on my journey knowing that I’m shaking in my boots as I look at who I am and envision the possibility of who I have the power to become.



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