For Funniest Couple, the award goes to…Parthenia and Jordan!! (Applause, please)

I was very recently and publicly informed by a friend of a friend that my son and I were the funniest couple that she’d ever met. Honestly, I’d never thought of us in this manner. Although, I will admit that our relationship is an unusual one. It always has been-from the womb to present. We laugh, argue, and discuss like “an old married couple” (or so I’ve been told).

I guess I should have known this would one day be a topic of interest. You see, Jordan has a habit of saying things or asking difficult to answer questions in the most public of places (restaurants, grocery stores, malls, playgrounds, etc.), and I have a habit of responding as honestly as I possibly can without being too graphic. We get stares, sniggles, giggles, guffaws, quizzical looks, and even comments from complete strangers who happen to encounter what I like to call our “Moments of Honesty.” One evening, while we were in Kroger in the checkout line, Jordan decided that it was time to have a conversation about death AGAIN. This is kind of how it went.

Jordan: Mom, I don’t wanna die. (People’s heads turn.)

Me: Well, son, we all have to die one day.

Jordan: Just like Granddaddy and Paw-Paw and Goldy (his former goldfish)?

Me: Yes, Jordan.

Jordan: Are they in heaven? (People are looking to see how I’ll respond.)

Me: Yes. I’ve told you that before, son. (I’m starting to get exasperated.)

Jordan: Will I go to heaven when I die?

Me: If you believe that Jesus died for your sins and was raised from the dead and ascended into heaven, then, YES. (I get a few nods from some and others lose interest.)

Jordan: Oh, okay, but I don’t wanna die, and I don’t want you to die either. (By this time, I’m looking away and rolling my eyes as I’m hearing sniggles from those around us.)

Now, just so you understand, Jordan is extremely literal in his thinking and loves animation. So, as often as I can, I try to relate what we’re discussing to something he’s seen on TV or DVD so that it makes sense to him. This is how our conversation continued.

Me: Well, sweetheart, we all have to die someday. It’s kind of like the the circle of life on The Lion King. You remember when Mufasa died?

Jordan: Yes, Mom.

Then, he retells the story IN the checkout line as I’m conversing with the lady who’s ringing us up. After this he somehow SEEMS to understand that we must all die someday; and as we exit the store, he bursts into Elton John’s “Circle of Life” from The Lion King. Needless to say, those whom we encountered were either riveted and laughing or silently wondering about the weird mother-child exchange they’d just witnessed. This is only an example of the many “public (and funny)” conversations Jordan and I have had.

We have been through so much together. It’s no wonder we behave like “an old married couple.” We’ve experienced birth, marriage, two diagnoses, deaths, separation, divorce, and single motherhood (childhood) together. Jordan and I have kept each other company, looked out for each other, and leaned on each other for the majority of his life. Our love is inexplicable and very difficult for the average person to understand, but IT WORKS. He so lovingly said to me the other night, “I love you, mom, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” All I can say is…

Ditto, son, ditto!


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