At some point in our lives, in some relationship; someone makes us angry enough to sever ties with him or her. Following the fallout, what generally remains is a bit of “hell” in our hearts. (‘Cause it sure ain’t heaven!) We carry it around like a blanket that comforts us and makes us feel good about ourselves, because we get to blame whoever for whatever happened (whether the blame lies with them or not). We wrap up in our misery (misery=hell) and wait for someone else to join us. “Misery LOVES company!”
Very recently an old friend-who I felt had wronged me and with whom I had severed ties-contacted me in an attempt to apologize and rekindle our friendship. His reasons were that he felt that he had disappointed me and misses me and loves me (platonically). After my initial shock (hadn’t heard from him in almost a year), my automatic response was “I forgive you, and we can be friends again.”
A little background on us: We’d been friends for quite some time before things went “pblltt.” (That was me blowing a raspberry :-)) We used to text and talk bunches. So much that you’d have thought we were dating, we weren’t. We just leaned on each other for support A LOT. Besides, we don’t even live in the same state, but I digress.
Such was my dislike for him following our fallout that I removed him from my phone contacts and my FB friends. Then, I changed my phone number some weeks later. (He wasn’t the catalyst for that, but I considered it a plus.)
So, imagine my surprise when he contacted me via the internet. I expected never to hear from him again. Neither did I fathom ever being friends again. If I had not spent the time apart consistently growing and changing, then, I can honestly say I probably would have told him to “Go to hell!” and some other things.
There comes a time when we must recognize that the “HELL” in our hearts is not worth holding. Please believe that I am not finished growing and have yet to release some of the hell still trapped in my heart toward a few others; but in this instance I counted it a victory that I was able to just forgive him and renew our friendship.
It is my hope that in every relationship, from now on, I will be able to release my anger and move forward. Even going so far as to openly and honestly forgive those whom I have cut off and possibly reformulate the lost relationship.
As eager as we can be to have someone wallow in misery with us, it is much more healthy and fruitful to have that person join us in forgiveness and progress.
I choose this day to embrace a forgiving a spirit. Will you join me?